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Tuesday, January 31, 2017

Cause I'm no superman

Hasil carian imej untuk weheartit strong

Assalamualaikum.

In my 21st post, I wrote down how super tired i'm.
After that, I had night fever.
And days dizziness.
Plus on off nausea.
But i still work, because i think i strong enough.
But,
It's continued by diarrhea for three days.
Fuh.
Thank you January.
Such an awesome memories.

"And when I'm ill, it is (God) who cures me. Surah Ash-shu'aara ayat 26:80" 

On next day of CNY, I'm oncall.
My diarrhea still on.
So that morning... I go to A&E. Seen a doctor and took some blood test.
In waiting for blood results, I go back to my department and did a lap. case.
I tried to push myself, even have to sat doing cases. 
Sorry guys.

After finished, quickly walked down to A&E and discuss about my results.
The doc said have some viral, but he will treat me as AGE case.
He want to give me MC... i said I'm oncall. No one will cover me.
Only can huhahuha together
So, he said, anything bad, direct come to A&E.
I promise him.

Took my meds at pharmacy and when I come back to my department.
Assist for Caesar case.
After that barulah i can ate a plain bread, and telan my meds.
And also little nap.
Because bit dizziness.

Pray today I'm more better.
But still on meds.
Need to be careful with what i took. No oil, milk and any such bon appetite foods.
Sacrificing.
Drunk lots of water...
Not over work, luckily tomorrow off.
Can i get enough rest.

Thanks who cares and understand me.
Sepanjang most of my on off illness.
Put candy in time needed for keep the dizziness away.
Make me super bitter tea. Even i felt nausea when i took it.
And, those who pray for me.
Thanks again.
Touching.

And sorry if makes you all felt i something yang menyusahkan.

Because some my friends said, why I helping others when i can't help myself?
I cover someone else work, double my job.
Susahkan diri.
I just can smile.
I know, maybe it's a wrong move to them.
But, I know why Allah choose me this way in this situation.
I only want to help, plan the best but,
He's the great planner.

It's nothing to me. Not a big problem. In his big world.
Not because how good i'm. It's just how good i want to be.
How good i want my mind to train and think in a positive ways.
Ok.

Anyway.
A week will in precaution as i can.
Hope everything run smoothly.
= )

Monday, January 30, 2017

It's hard to trust a man, doc.

Assalamualaikum.

Masih teringat lagi, masa tu my doctor tumpangkan naik kereta sama on the way after kerja.
Follow by another doctor.
And i'm sat at the back just be a good passenger.
Lots of topic we discuss.
About no makes sense of hospital charges, related to decrease of cases, and new technology in medical too.
Rasa matured ya amat bila cakap pasal itu semua.
Layan je la.

And one moment, they asked me about my personal part.
Jodoh things.
Time tu actually rasa macam nak bukak tingkap.
And terjun ke luar.
I don't care if we are still on the busy road.

"Why not you find your own abang, adibah?"

After few deep breaths, i replied.
It's hard to trust a man, doc.
Pretty hard.

And they both nods and silence for few minutes.


Not said i traumatized dengan semua lelaki.
I grew with three weird brothers and a good father.
My relationship with them are good.
Because i trust mereka in my life.
Siblings goal.

But now, if you dare me to put a trust, a perfect trust to a man yang akan pegang title my husband.
It's a pretty high risk.
Tak kiralah dia kelak included as my annoying friends list or new strangers.
Trust is impossibly be easy.
Am i right?

But my doc said, why not i open my heart and give myself an opportunities.
Kenal hati budi among them, and choose the best.
I not replied back.

Because my doc don't understand me.
Like i said before, It's hard to trust a man.
If you said about peluang.
I can give all the man a thousand even billions of peluang to makes my life better and happy.
But at the end, when we wants to take a next steps.
I will questioning myself, can i put a trust to him likes i trust my four favorite person in this world?
Which i donno i even can trust myself too in this things
It's not gonna be easy as 1, 2, 3 duh.

Then i know.
The real solution to my problem is to find a man i can trust on.
That's it.
Trust i give for routinely small matter or in my big decision.

That i want when he received it, he appreciate it.
Likes a pure innocent magically touch in everything.
Because i don't forever live in fairy tale land.
I want us to be real.
Ceeewah.
Gitu.


And about balasan balik, i don't really need his own trust for me.
Just my trust for him is a good enough.
It's just my psycho dynamic things.
Really!
If dia nak fair square with me in this situation. It's great!
Two is better than one.
Hehhehhe....

Alright, see you in the next trust?
= )

Sunday, January 29, 2017

Lelaki bertatu

Assalamualaikum,

Don't worry guys.
My choice is not this guy. The tattoo things.
Mau kena kejar dengan parang kang by my ayah if pilihannya dia.
How come my daughter in law is so brutal!
Hahaha, can't imagine.
Pengsan.

Dia adalah chef. Our first met masa kami buat charity project.
Time tu, memang tak perasan ada makanan free by some group yang join situ.
Sebab syiok sangat ajar budak-budak nih membaca. Plus, semangat diorang nak belajar and terus belajar.
Khusyuk gila ar. Lagi triple excitement nak ajar mereka.

So, when a lunch time tiba... budak-budak nih ajak makan sama.
I actually sangat lapar but still can boleh tahan.
Even my breakfast only biscuit.
Sebab nanti balik rumah ingat akan singgah kedai ke apa.
Rezeki diorang, malas nak cuit sama.

Then, my partner ajak makan sama.
And she took it behalf on me. So makan jela. 

Nasi lemak full package with a fried chicken.
Sedap.



And time tengah makan sambil layan budak-budak ni.
Rasa macam lain jer, and when I follow my instinct.
Rupanya someone took my picture!
Got you bro.
Main kasar nampak.
And faster, dia turn around and take pictures budak lain. Like whatttt....

After few kegagalan yang seterusnya, sebab bila dia macam nak take picture, I give a death glare.
Dia pon fed up.
Hahhaha... good boy.

Then when i clean up some plate, dia pon tolong kemas apa yang patut juga.
And we bump to each other.
Ingat cute?

Tak menjadikan suasana lebih awkward, I kept my cool face.
Tanya soalan simple.
And then, time nilah I realize he got a big black tattoo at his neck area. Some dragon art I think.
Tak berani nak telek lama sangat.
Kang nanti show no respect.
Even sebenarnya respect tuh dah melayang-layang bawak angin.
Rasa mau bagi ceramah jer adalah.
Boleh tak agak-agaknya.

Next, i said thanks and continued my mengajar part. Sebab budak-budak nih lagi bertambah terujanya.
Hello.. did those nasi lemak have lots of sugar added?
Layan je la.

When tengah mendengar diorang membaca, my eyes captured him tengah berkemas.
Masa tu, i just replied with my straight smile.
Ikhlas.
Siapa kata tak ikhlas.

I hope i won't meet him again. Better.
Just missed his very delicious nasi lemak, but i'm ok.

Cer la jodoh tu, Allah bagi lelaki yang jenis lembut sikit. Tak ada tattoo semua of course.
Baru sedap mata memandang.
And bertambah senang nak buli.
Ups!
And if gini, dia nak snap picture dalam diam or ajak selfie sama ke. Count me in.
Semua cute mimic faces i can given FOC.
Hahahaha...

End of 2023

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